Paul The Psychic Octopus for England Manager
The FA will not have missed the undoubted talent and unerring accuracy of Paul the Psychic Octopus. His football knowledge has seen no equal during this World Cup. Despite the nation calling for patriotism to be reintroduced to our national team with the appointment of an English coach I think they may be drawn to appoint a German Octopus as the next England Manager. They believe in employing the best man for the job above everything else. They have shown that they believe somebody that can’t speak the language is the best man for the job. They have also shown that they don’t object to England friendlies being turned to farce by another inept foreign manager . They have built a national stadium but were not that bothered about it having a decent pitch inside it. They have shown that they believe all English managers aren’t up to the job. I keep thinking they must be one step ahead of the rest of us with their ideas but I can’t quite see how.
Now of course they will have to use all their negotiating skills to get him as he will be much in demand. They will have to offer him more than the current manager, that goes without saying. £6 million a year is nowhere near enough for such a talented invertebrate. You have to pay top dollar if you want the best. He will also need a luxury tank in Mayfair and executive tanks at all Premier League Grounds. I am sure he has a bit of an entourage who we can make ridiculously wealthy too. Perhaps he has a friend that we could make goalkeeping coach as they have plenty of arms. How much further would we have got in his World Cup if we had employed his selection process to pick our forward line. He might have chosen some forwards that would get an occasional shot away! He might have chosen a team instead of ‘who is going to play with Rooney?’ I think the FA should appoint him immediately and take the lead in forward thinking management again.
Stop press : I just found out that Paul was born in Weymouth which makes him English. Logically that makes him even more qualified but this is the FA and they are not very big on English for England
